Fearing an undesirable outcome, do you feel the need to overbearingly control your life or the lives of those around you? If you are frantically living on the edge of your sense of self, your life spins out of control and your fears become larger than life. The best way to let go of this all-consuming feeling is to surrender to control. Surrendering control is an act of power that will reconnect you to a current of energy that is available to us all.

In today’s blog:

  • Wanting control, is it really giving you control?
  • How to begin surrendering to a more relaxed life.
  • Jazz up healthy eating with Donna Lee’s TUNA-CADO recipe.

Wanting control stems from fear

Wanting to change reality is an exercise in futility and will wear you out emotionally and physically. Have you ever been successful at truly changing another individual?

Observe yourself the next time you are in the grips of wanting to control situations or someone else – your parents, children, spouse, co-workers. Check in with yourself and notice how tense and unsettled you become.
The bottom line is we cannot control much in life – especially others – and it is in surrendering to control that we begin to really live in the natural flow of joy. 

Wanting control can appear as resistance to people, places and things. For instance, wanting to help someone without being asked, wanting to fix things that are in the past or wanting to change circumstances that are out of your control.

This pattern can wreak havoc on what otherwise might be healthy relationships. Love cannot exist in the midst of control,.

Let’s break down wanting control vs. being in control:

  • Wanting control is the opposite of having control – the more we WANT control the more out of control we become.
  • Wanting control is based on fear and is the polar opposite of surrendering to divine flow.
  • Wanting control leaves no room for divine guidance. It chokes out any chance of leaning into your higher, all-
  • knowing self.

In flow versus in fear

INTERFERE equates to IN TO FEAR. All this time I thought my desire to control in regards to my family and friends was based on love. UNTRUE. It was based on fear.

Flow happens when we surrender to what is happening. Trust is knowing that all is well no matter what arises. In today’s fear-based society, many people experience frustration, anxiety, overwhelm, or loss of enjoyment. Too much information leads to anxiety from trying to change everything – from themselves to their children. There’s too much to take in, too much to do, and we cope by clinging to controlling behaviors. Unfortunately, these behaviors rob us of joy.


Manipulating or controlling behavior doesn’t allow for flow; it’s the barrier to flow.

When you are in a flow state, you often don’t realize it. You are fully present with yourself and others. Only after time has passed, are you able to “wake up” and realize how engaged and free you’ve been.


Trusting the Flow

You’ll know when you’re “in the flow”. Hours can pass by without fear and tension in your body. In these moments, it doesn’t matters what others are doing or not doing. You’re fully engaged in the moment and it’s delightful. Practicing the flow state provides the reward of continual flow and harmony to all of your relationships. Imagine how much more comfortable you will be with others when you’re relaxed and at peace within yourself.


Jazzy Tuna-cado

Want a protein packed energy giving delicious option for lunch?

Check out this delicious tuna-cado recipe!


Donna Lee Humble, holistic health practitioner, specializing in bio energetic testing, Spiritual Teacher, Wellness Coach and Creator of the Higher Self Care Series.